London, 11 Dec 2006.
For immediate release.

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Press Release

"We Got It Wrong" says the IPCC
"More to come" says the ABD.

Previously, those wrongly blamed for natural climate change have endured hectoring headlines that have taken an increasingly alarmist approach:
"It's happening"
"It's very bad"
"It's worse than we thought"
"It's worse than the previous worst"

— usually accompanied by photos of car exhaust pipes visibly emitting steam.
Now, as motorists — particularly those with holiday flight bookings — feel the pinch of Gordon Brown's statement, with mobility tax increases claimed to be based on a sexed up ecodossier from the gone-and-forgotten Stern Report, the IPCC now concede (1) that mankind's impact on climate change "isn't as bad as we thought". In fact, as the IPCC and other scientists have previously acknowledged (2) there is no human signal in the data above the noise of natural variation. The only place human global warming can be found is inadequate and disreputable computer climate models. Statements that 'the science is settled' are contrary to actual data, and contrary to the scientific process.
ABD Environment Spokesman Ben Adams comments:
"This is the start of a long-winded apology that will run and run. After Stern's recent departure from the scene of the clime, perhaps Mr Brown is also re-thinking the role being offered to Al Gore — so we might yet see a flood, of discredited alarmists.
With significant climate cooling widely expected from about 2012 (3) there's plenty of time for the climb-down to minimise the egg on politicians' faces. Before then, since man-made climate change is being officially reduced, we expect fuel duty and all King Canute mobility taxes to be officially reduced as well. After all, that was the reason for recent increases, wasn't it. Given the severe and politically unexpected backlash against Brown's recent dash for cash, which only the most gullible greens believe to be environmentally motivated, now would be a good time."

  1. Daily Telegraph — UN downgrades man's impact on the climate
  2. Daily Telegraph — Kyoto is pointless, say 60 leading scientists
  3. MosNews — Russian Scientists Forecast Global Cooling in 6-9 Years
    Colorado State University — Recent Cooling of the Upper Ocean
    ABD — Freezelock

Notes for Editors